MathCraft: Reign of Conjecture

Below are four questions and a bonus question. You have to answer instantly. You can’t take your time, answer all of them immediately or else Sargeras will rise once again. The fate of Azeroth lies in your puny brain.

Let’s find out how adept you really are…

Ready? Proceed!!!

First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

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Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up next time.

Now answer the second question,

but don’t take as much time as you took for the first question, ok?

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are…?

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Answer: If you answered you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?

You’re not very good at this, are you?

Third Question:

Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.

Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?

Answer: Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100.

If you don’t believe it, check it with a calculator!

Today is definitely not your day, is it?

Maybe you’ll get the last question right…

…Maybe.

Fourth Question:

Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?

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Answer: Did you answer Nunu?

NO! Of course it isn’t.

Her name is MARY. Read the question again.

Okay, now for the BONUS ROUND.

A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done!

Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does he indicate what he wants?

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Answer: He just has to open his mouth and ask…

It’s really very simple…Like you!

Pandora’s Words

I realize this afternoon that there are worse things in life than suffering from a handicap or being poverty stricken of sorts. But at the end of this entry, I would change my opinion of this statement I just made. Let’s find out why.

After much pondering and afterthoughts, I realize that there are four phrases uttered toward me that can gravely hurt my innermost feelings. No, this is not one of Oprah’s Exposé session OnLine thingy. This is just me, the guy who’s trying to make a living in this universe.

At the end of this entry, if you feel like it, tell me whether you agree with me that it’s also the same thing for you, or you can feel free to add in some phrases of your own experiences.

The first phrase would be I HATE YOU. According to Wikipedia, hate is an emotion of intense revulsion, distaste, enmity, or antipathy for a person, thing, or phenomenon. I personally think that when all love is gone, all feelings of care, concern and fondness between two people is all but spent; only hate remains. You can hate someone and still respect them, hate someone but still admire them, hate someone and still work with them but no one can hate and love the same person at the same time. Hence, when love is gone, which love is by the way the basis or foundation of every kind of relationship/friendship there is to mankind, the latter fades into oblivion.

Next would be YOU’RE VERY IRRITATING. I guess people speak these words to each other all the time, everyday, between friends, family or strangers. The only thing that sets it apart from other words is the tone in which it was spoken. When it’s uttered in a menacing, gleeful and ominous way, this phrase can have a detrimental effect on a person. Hearing this phrase from a stranger, or anyone that holds no significant place in your heart can mean little but coming from a loved one, even a friend, it can be downbeat depressing.

Consequently, there is STOP BUGGING ME. Unlike its distant cousin, don’t bug me, the former phrase has its way with people. When you say “don’t”, it gives a person the impression that you’re not an irritating person and that at the moment, I am just busy, so don’t bug me. However, when you switch the “don’t” with the “STOP”, you get a totally different perspective. It’s like you have been disturbing and intruding the person’s privacy and life all this while and that enough is enough, I’ve had enough of you, so get the frack out of my life cuz you’re such a big whopper ass nuisance and STOP BUGGING ME, you moronic dickhead cuz I fracking HATE YOU because YOU’RE so VERY IRRITATING.

Ultimately, the Cracker Jack is none other than I DON’T TRUST YOU. Everyone, please give a moment of silence to Mr. Trust You with present relatives; Mr. and Mrs. Faith, Mr. Belief, his nephews and nieces Hope, Reliance, Dependence and finally old mama Confidence. When I DON’T steps into the house, everyone just fades to black and dies off. Trust me. Every pun intended. It’s the basis of love. When there’s no trust, even the strongest of love fades away in time, trailing down the river of obscurity and down into the fathomless pit of anonymity.

When all four of these phrases are uttered correctly in a perfect timing, its effects can be catastrophic and would make the supernova at DXZ1X00988217 in Alpha Centauri pales in comparison. In English, it would ruin a person’s heart so badly that Fitz and Percy might just actually become real people and be there to comfort you, you poor sucker.

Alas, I am neither poor nor a sucker. So Fitz and Percy can sit nicely beside English in Prison Break, thank you very much. All I’m trying to say here is, if you’re tough enough, and know well enough; no matter what kind of Pandora’s Words uttered at how right a time can do no harm to who you are as a person in the end. There are not many worse fates in life than being a handicap or being stricken with poverty, even these two are not inferior as there are people who make it worth while living it. So, you were saying…

God Save My Country cuz its people ain’t gonna save it

Once again I was appalled and disappointed by the virulent actions of our beloved country’s administrators and administration. I stumbled upon an entry written by my friend today and I took a look at the article he was talking about. I could only shook my head in vain and snarl at the inanity of our Chief Justice. I was simply stupefied and disgusted by his statements. He even had the audacity and “common sense” to say the words he said. Are all important and high-ranking positions in our Administration occupied by individuals with brains the size of peas whom they sit it on their sagging bottoms and nuts the size of bowling balls? Alas, time and again I have to concur that most of the positions are occupied by these rapacious and moronic homo-sapiens.

The lawyer added that the Datuk Bandar had failed to take into consideration the fact that Malaysia was a multicultural country and that the act of hugging and kissing was an expression of love which should be encouraged.

Hearing this, Ahmad Fairuz asked: “So, they should be given freedom to live as they like? The constitution allows all citizens to do that (hugging and kissing) even by the roadside, in a public park?

You know what I have to say to you, Most Esteemed Chief Justice Tun Ahmad Fairuz Sheikh Abdul Halim? I think you are a sad person with a sad childhood. If what you say is true, I guess like what my friend said, we should start arresting all those people, loved ones, husbands and wives and families who kisses and hugs each other in the airport terminal, train stations or ports. In fact, why don’t we start arresting all the politicians and great leaders of our country who hugs one another after a great meeting or conference? In fact, I will champion the cause of my friend to ban all television shows, movies, ads and live plays that constitutes a man and a woman hugging or kissing each other? That way, there will be no influences on the young minds of our nation’s children and thus, no cause for you to issue idiotic and bullish statements like the ones you just made.

This is just totally absurd. I have seen countless times that our Administration has a penchant for making small things big and big issues small. While the country is plagued with rapes, kidnappings, murder, incest, money-laundering, bribery, social irresponsibility and the likes, issues like kissing and hugging in public and gambling with friends and relatives during a festive season are hyped up and brought to light in the public’s eye. How often do we hear that each reported cases of rapes, kidnappings, murder, bribery or social irresponsibility are solved with the perpetrator in custody? Rare indeed. With all the resources and manpower at their disposal, this is the best they come up with. No wonder more and more capable individuals are migrating out of our decrepifying country. Who’s to blame them? While the real perps are out there roaming around to prey on new victims, the innocent are being prosecuted.

These are just small crimes! If it can even be called a crime to kiss and hug in public. Grow up please, Administration. Stop being so childish. Aim for the big guns and do your job right. Then maybe for once, we can start respecting one another genuinely.

Personally, I think both the Datuk Bandar and the Chief Justice had a terrible teen life. I think they’re just jealous of the couple whom they’re prosecuting. C’mon people, how ridiculous you think it’ll look like on the Australian Times, New York Daily or The Star? YOUNG ADULTS BROUGHT TO COURT FOR KISSING AND HUGGING IN PUBLIC.

A Narrative Nonsense

William and Sanders stood in the darkened foyer of the church. William fumbled with his keys as he locked the front entrance. He looked up verily and said, “You know what, I bet I’m the only children’s pastor in the world with a concealed weapons permit, hah!”. William pantomimed drawing a pistol from his pocket and fired off two imaginary shots at some unseen perpetrator.

“Uh, hello, you moron!” said Sanders. “You’re probably the ONLY pastor in the world with a gun permit.”

William holstered his pantomime pistol. “Yeah, you’re probably right, but it never hurts to be prepared.”

Sanders snorted. “Prepared? Prepared for what? Why in the world does a children’s pastor needs a gun in the first place? Are you crazy?”

“You know,” William reasoned. “In case there’s a zombie outbreak or something.”

“Oh, my Lord!” Sanders threw up his hands. “You and zombies. There’s never been a stupid zombie outbreak to begin with.”

William stared at his friend. “That’s right. I stopped the first one before it could escalate.”

“I don’t even want to know.”

“And neither does the government,” said William. “You should be thankful to have a friend like me.”

Currently Listening You and Me By Lifehouse see related

A Bit from Ravencrest

So, the night was like this:

Bit One

HK:     I need to send my boots for dry cleaning.

G:       *chuckles* Errr…ahahahaha!

Me:     *chuckles hysterically* Oh my God! Hahahahaha!

HK:     Har? Why? What’s so funny?

Everyone looks at each other, there’s a moment of silence, then all burst out laughing in the car!

Me:     We thought we heard you said you need to send your boobs for dry cleaning.

HK:     %@$#&@*...

Bit Two

Me:     Hey K, why don’t you buy flowers for her?

K:       Errr…dude, what is flower? A living thing man. She won’t hurt any living things.

Me:     Serious?! Damn…

HK:     Yah, Wei Han. She doesn’t harm any animals too.

G:       *chuckles* Oh…oops! Oh my God! Ahahaha!

Me:     *chuckles hysterically* Errr…eh? Oh! Wahahahaha!

HK:     What now?!

Me:     Hahaha! No ler, we thought you said she doesn’t hump any animals. Heh!

HK:     %@$#&@*...you guys ah!

And then all burst out laughing and the end.